You need to understand Mom, that it was a totally horrible experience, and all Noël did all week was pick on us, and call us names, and write bad things about us on the blog. Really Mom, please don’t ever leave a cat in charge again. It is just a really demoralizing experience to have to submit to the rude and undoglike behavior of a feline. Next time you decide to go away and want one of the animals to watch over the blog, please hire a Rottweiler or a Malamute or someone who really knows how to keep all those cats in line. Or better yet, leave me in charge. I will show that Noël a thing or two about running the zoo. Really Mom, really! Just ask Lulu! She was so traumatized by the experience that all she did was hide from Noël the whole time you were gone. I am not sure she will ever be the same. Actually, no one will ever be the same again. Just look at her. Poor thing, she has lost her marbles. You better never go away again!
What do you mean you are leaving to see Peanut for the weekend and you can’t take us? You are just cruel! Nine, I thought we told you to eat a hole in her suitcase, you stupid cat! What good are those cats anyway?