Hello, dear friends. It is I, Bearnard—small in stature, quiet in presence—returning to keep you properly informed.

Since we last spoke in March… well. Life has been a lot. Let me bring you up to speed.

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🧸 The PoleCat Saga (Victory Is Mine)

You’ll be relieved to know I have successfully regained control of PoleCat*—my beloved, slightly questionable companion. We are once again inseparable.

(*PoleCat is a gray stuffed toy with a cat face, that is long like a pole. For more info go to last month’s blog.)

There was an incident. Jolie, in a completely unprovoked act of aggression, launched PoleCat off the couch in what I can only describe as an attempted assassination. Fortunately, Mom intervened, rescued PoleCat, and restored her rightful place among the pillows.

Order has been reestablished.

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🌸 Weather, But Make It Confusing

Spring arrived… but not in a normal way. One night: snow. Next day: summer. Honestly, it feels like we’re living inside a strange Ursula K. Le Guin novel set on a chaotic planet.

And the pollen. Oh, the pollen.

Here by the Chesapeake Bay, everything is covered in a thick yellow dust. The humans call it pollen, but I call it betrayal. Instead of seasoning things with Old Bay, the world is now seasoned with what I call Old Yellow.

Mom has us on tiny pink pills—Benadryl—which allegedly help with sneezing. I remain skeptical but slightly less sniffly.

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🐱 The Reign of Mini Cooper

Mini Cooper (the cat) has entered what I believe is her villain era.

She has claimed Mom’s recliner as her throne and now requires us to approach with what can only be described as respectful submission. Eye contact is risky. Proximity requires permission.

We are monitoring the situation closely.

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🍪 Holidays = Betrayal (Again)

Mom was very busy cooking for Passover and made something called macaroons.

Everyone loved them.

We were denied access.

We received apples.

I trust you understand the injustice.

Then came Easter, which, as usual, involved large quantities of human-only candy. K8 was here (Peanut was away), and there was still an Easter egg hunt because apparently humans never outgrow joy or baskets.

Frankly, I respect that. I, too, believe in year-round treats.

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🤫 My Secret Life (Do Not Share)

There is something you should know, but you must keep it between us.

I am… a closet toy player.

I never play in front of humans. It’s a private art. But somehow, my toys mysteriously appear all over the house. No explanation.

My favorites:

• The blue ball that releases cookies (a masterpiece)

• My snuffle mat lunch situation (highly refined)

Again—this stays between us.

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🚶‍♀️ Enter April (Best Dog Walker Ever)

Mom isn’t walking well right now because she’s getting a new hip soon (honestly, bold upgrade), so we have a dog walker named April.

After breakfast, I wait in the foyer for what feels like years.

Then she arrives.

And I become… speed.

I run. I spin. I zoom between rooms like a highly trained athlete. When we get home, I sprint upstairs to Mom, then back to April, then back again. Sometimes I add couch-jumping for flair.

Jolie, meanwhile, strolls in calmly and lies down like she’s better than me.

She is incorrect.

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🚗 Adventures in Car Riding

Because of the whole hip situation (and also our deep suspicion of the cane and the wheeled walking contraption), Mom takes us on car rides instead.

I prefer the front console—close to Mom, excellent visibility, superior vibes.

Jolie enjoys the window.

Sometimes we are buckled into the back seat, which we strongly oppose, but Mom insists it is “for safety.” I suppose she means well.

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🐱Stella Update (Very Important)

Our dear Stella, the cat—who, as you know, has GI Lymphoma—is doing well.

She had her annual visit with Dr. Sims (which she loudly objected to), but overall, things are stable. Her medications—Prednisolone, Cisapride, and Miralax—are helping a lot.

Also, she is 14 years old, which I believe qualifies her as wise and slightly magical.

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🌧️ Final Thoughts from a Small Philosopher

Today it is stormy. The little helicopter seeds are spinning down from the maple trees like whirly birds… or perhaps tiny dancing fairies. I haven’t decided yet.

Mom’s surgery is coming up in May, so updates may be delayed. But rest assured—I will continue to observe, report, and protect PoleCat at all costs.

Until next time,
Bearnard 🐾, the Brave

Just another DogDaz morning at the zoo ❤