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The holiday was great but it almost wasn’t. You see I did a bunch of stuff that I shouldn’t have and scared Mom half to death; I could have killed myself.

Last Wednesday before the holiday, V was making candy and stuff for the holidays and had to stop because it was time to go get a haircut. When no one was looking I managed to steal a block of Baker’s Chocolate. Yes, that deadly stuff that could kill dogs, especially little ones. Mom was out at the gym and when she got home (about 30 minutes after V left), I had already eaten about 2 ounces of it and pooped on the floor. She wasn’t sure if Bearnard ate it too because he had his nose in it also.

She quickly tried to figure out how much I had eaten and went online to the Dog Chocolate Poison Toxicity Calculator. It was semi-sweet baker’s chocolate so I was somewhere between possible seizures and death.

Of course, Mom was freaking out.

Lucky for me, however, I did not only steal the chocolate, I also got up on the kitchen table and knocked over my canister of dog kibble. (More about getting on the table later.) Mom thinks that all the dog food helped me not get “as sick,” from the deadly chocolate because it may have absorbed some of the poison.

Chocolate has things called Theobromine and Caffeine in it. These chemicals create Methylaxanthines which are harmless to humans but can be deadly dangerous to us pets. Animals metabolize food in a different way than humans.

I wasn’t done yet, however. Even though Mom had holiday presents hidden in her office for months, now that I had the smell of yummy deadly chocolate on my mind, I went into a cardboard bag, in a plastic bag, in a cardboard box of presents in her office, and I ate 4 milk chocolate balls a few hours later. Mom didn’t even realize that I had that great a nose. I had not bothered any of her gifts that she had been hiding, so it didn’t even enter her mind that I would rip open a closed package. I went downstairs and pooped in the same place Mom had just shampooed from my earlier exploit. Wasn’t that nice of me?

At this point, Mom figured she should contact the vet, but it was already 8 PM and they were closed, so she called emergency to ask if she should do something called ‘induce vomiting,’ which sounds terrible. The nice lady on the phone said to watch me closely, and she could use hydrogen peroxide if she wanted to, but that was up to her. So she didn’t thankfully, because I was acting mostly myself, except I needed to go potty every 30 minutes. Bearnard was fine. I don’t let him get much food if I can help it. He doesn’t care and I want everything I can eat.

I woke Mom every 2 hours during the night for 3 days to go outside. At least it was not raining or snowing but it was dark and cold.

I need to tell you about the kitchen table. Since Noel is so old, she can’t jump up on the counter and eat in her herb window anymore, so Mom has been feeding her on the kitchen table. She can get up there by jumping on a cabinet in the living room and then going through the dining room to kitchen pass-through window. Well, it did not take me long to figure that out. So I have been stealing her food when Mom wasn’t looking and Mom thought that Noel had finished her dinner. Mom caught on to my antics when she saw me up on the kitchen table one day, so she stopped feeding Noel there if she wasn’t watching. Mom thought she had me fooled.

However, I got up there the day that I ate the chocolate and I knocked down my food canister, which was supposed to be secure Mom said, and helped myself to 1/2 a bag of dog kibble. So then Mom moved the cabinet in the dining room from under the window so that I could not follow Noel and get on the table. My access was gone (or so she thought).

But wait! Mom put a box of Christmas presents under the window so that she could wrap them on the dining room table. It was a low box, so she figured it was safe. Oh, did I tell you Mom loves to bake (LoriansKitchen.com). She had made this awesome gluten and dairy-free chocolate walnut strudel with amazing little leaves and acorns on it. Yep, you got it. I am really smart. Mom was cooling her treat on the kitchen table and I managed to help myself to all her beautiful handy work. (Before and after pictures below)

My Mom really doesn’t understand that I have the most incredible nose and can jump like a cat and get everywhere, especially when it comes to food. Now she thinks she has removed every way for me to get on the table except the cat tree, which is how Noel is getting up to the kitchen (she path below).

I think I will try that next.

My gift to Mom this year was to survive the holidays. What did you give your Mom? – Jolie Olie, the best nose in the business.

May your New Year be merry and bright!

Just another DogDaz morning at the zoo ❤